I Love My Job!

I'll be honest - my job isn't that exciting, but I love it. I love the people I work with and I have fun every time I'm at work. Most of the excitement seems to be caused by my stunts, but I'm OK with being a sideshow for everyone's viewing pleasure. At the very least, it gives them something to talk about, right? But contrary to the popular song, it is NOT love they are talking about.

The bulk of my responsibility is dealing with any home owner's (lovingly referred to as home-o's, tee hee) who need work orders serviced or have warranty issues. It sounds easy enough, and it really is, but even I can't believe some of the calls that I get. I've created my own clever ways of dealing with some of these people.

** I swear, and Jen can vouch for me, that the conversations you're about to read actually took place, word for word ***

Home-O #1: There's a blue tube coming out of the ground in my back yard, and I have no idea what it is. I tried pulling on it, but it's stuck in the ground.
Me: Ma'am, that's probably your gas line, so, um, try not to pull on it anymore. Don't you remember what happened to Baby Jessica?


Home-O #2: There are screws coming back through the walls all over my house.
Me: That sounds like something you want to talk to a priest about, but we'll send someone over.

And my most recent, all-time favorite:

Home-O #3: There is a plane stuck on my roof.
Me: A plane???
Home-O: Yes.
Me: Um.... do you know where it came from?
Home-O: It's my brother's. It's remote control.
Me: (knowing already that this is not a warranty / work order issue) Ah. Is it still running?
Home-O: Well the batteries have probably died by now.
Me: Mmm hmmm. And is it the kind of plane with the little army guy flying it?
Home-O: Yes, it is.
Me: Right. (totally serious) And is the army guy shooting lasers at anyone?
Home-O: (Pauses, confused.) Um..... lasers??
Me: (still serious as a heart attack) Yes, sir, is he shooting his gun? Is anyone in any immediate danger of being shot?
Home-O: Uh.... I don't think he's got a gun.
Me: Ok, good, that's a relief. (finally laughing because the guy is starting to get more confused and freaked out). As long as no one is in any immediate danger. Um, this isn't really a work order.....


Ah, the joys of working in customer service.