Thursday, October 30, 2008

You Can Be Joyus, You Cannot Be a Jackass

There have been very few moments in my life where I've cried tears of joy. Most of them have happened in the past year or so. These moments include:

- when Li'l Mil was born;

- when I got my new Mustang;

- when I got my new ginormous bazoombas;

And finally, this momentous occasion:I literally sobbed tears of joy last night when the Phillies finally won the World Series. Now if only the Eagles could get in on a little championship action, I could die a happy woman with an adorable nephew, a sweet Mustang, and ginormous bazoombas.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I Suppose I Should Be Flattered?

Yesterday I was at a stoplight being noticeably eyed by two guys in a Jetta next to me. In case you didn't catch that, it was two guys in a Jetta. A Jetta. There's nothing wrong with a Jetta if you're a 19-year-old blonde girl with a Roxy sticker in the back window. But this was two guys.

And also they both looked like this:Meaning they both had the swept-back-Gotti-boys hairdo, not the pouty lips and nice skin tone. And they were both wearing headbands. Headbands!

I was staring straight ahead to avoid eye contact, but I could see the driver give me the standard head nod out of my peripheral vision. Unfortunately my window was down so I couldn't ignore him when he started shouting across the traffic lanes, asking my name. It's so awesomely embarrassing to see the looks on the faces of other drivers who overheard me shouting my name three times because he couldn't understand me.

And to answer your question, yes, I shouted my phone number to him. Sure he drives a Jetta and has amazingly bad hair that I'm sure he believes to be amazingly awesome; but at the very least, it gives me something entertaining to blog about. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Catch Me If You Can...And Apparently You Can

You know what's funny? Getting pulled over on the SAME ROAD twice in 48 hours.

You know what's annoying? Getting a ticket the first time, but a warning the second time.

You know what's really freaking sweet? Having the second cop ask you if you're aware that it's a federal offense to deface official state documents...Oh, you mean this defacing of official state documents, officer?
That's right. Permanent marker on my license plate.

I told the officer that the real crime here was the defacing of my beloved Eagles, not the defacing of official state documents. He didn't laugh, then told me to get some Goof Off and get rid of it.

Thanks again to the superintendents I work with for helping me to create this post.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I Won Too!

I've won a major award! It could be a bowling alley! Or just the deed to it...

Not quite as tangible as this major award, but it will do. And since I'm not feeling witty or creative, I will plagiarize verbatim Andi Mae.

Somebody loves my blog and has awarded me the honor of answering a few questions...with only one word. For being a verbose chatterbox, we'll see how this goes...

  1. Where is your cell phone? I was going to say, "Right in front of me," but then I remembered that these are supposed to be one word answers, and this quiz is going to be harder than I thought so... close? My cell phone is close? Is that right?
  2. Where is your significant other? Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Does that count as one word?
  3. Your hair color? dark
  4. Your mother? pale
  5. Your father? tan
  6. Your favorite thing? Mustang
  7. Dream last night? pastries...cinnamon rolls to be exact, but that's two words...dumb rules. And stop harping on the fact that I'm using more than one word - the point is that I actually dreamed about cinnamon rolls, people.
  8. Your goal? fame
  9. The room you're in? office
  10. Your hobby? movies
  11. Your fear? SPIDERS
  12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? famous
  13. Where were you last night? work
  14. What you're not? unfunny
  15. One of your wish-list items? Reverse-C door stripes for my mustang - I'm sorry, there's no way to condense that into one word. Deal with it.
  16. Where you grew up? C'Ville
  17. The last thing you did? Typed. Duh, I'm doing this survey, aren't I? What else could I be doing except typing? Brainstorming?
  18. What are you wearing? Double D's hahahahahahahahah I crack myself up.
  19. Your TV? big
  20. Your pet? FatDragon. See how I made that into one word?
  21. Your computer? slooooooooooooooow
  22. Your mood? PMSsy
  23. Missing someone? sister
  24. Your car? HOT
  25. Something you're not wearing? A's! hahahahahahah. Reference #18 if you don't get it. I still crack myself up.
  26. Favorite store? Buckle
  27. Your summer? tanorexic
  28. Love someone? Elvis
  29. Your favorite color? purple
  30. When is the last time you laughed? today
  31. Last time you cried? today
I'm supposed to give this major award to more people, but...I fear that no one will be quite as witty and clever as myself, so I'll save you all the trouble of trying to live up to my standards. And yes, today I really am that cocky.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Check Me Out in All My Majesty

This week, I realized that I am featured in four other blogs! How's that for cool points?

Here I am, mentioned on my sister's blog.

Here's the report of the first official meeting between two bloggers - myself and $teve. (scroll down down down)

Here's me in the background of a birthday BBQ that I crashed in Philadelphia. (in the video at the bottom...keep your eyes peeled!)

Aaaaaaaaaand here's me being called out publicly because my beloved Eagles lost to the Bears AGAIN this year. Luckily I didn't have to remove any stickers from my car this time. I simply had to endure hours of trash-texting from Hizznizzle, his brother, the landscaper, and then some guy I don't even know who was a Bears fan. Talk about a sausage party... but really, when Hizznizzle is involved, is it really any surprise that there are sausages aplenty?

Thanks for all the shout outs! Enjoy your sausages, Hizznizzle!