Caller: Hello, Bone Junior? This is such and such from I'm Going to Make You Feel Bad About Yourself travel agency. We're offering a promotion of two round trip airline tickets and three free nights in a resort. All you have to do is come listen to a presentation about our resorts and the trip is yours. Are you at least twenty-five years old?
Bone Junior: Blink blink. Takes deep breath. Firmly sets jaw, squares shoulders, adjusts boobs, and clenches fist. No; no I'm not. I'm very happily single, and you know what? Utah is the only place in the world where I'm viewed as being a spinster because I'm single at the age of twenty five almost twenty six. Do you know how many of my friends outside of Utah are my age and single? ALL OF THEM. AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!
Caller: Thank you for your time, but I'm sorry; you don't qualify for our promotion.
Bone Junior: Your FACE doesn't qualify for your promotion!
Caller: I'm sorry?
Bone Junior: Click.