Monday, March 03, 2008

You May Have Caught Me On a Bad Day

Caller: Hello, Bone Junior? This is such and such from I'm Going to Make You Feel Bad About Yourself travel agency. We're offering a promotion of two round trip airline tickets and three free nights in a resort. All you have to do is come listen to a presentation about our resorts and the trip is yours. Are you at least twenty-five years old?

Bone Junior: Yes. Almost twenty-six.

Caller: (Sounding wonderfully delighted). Wonderful! And do you make at least x amount of dollars per year?

Bone Junior: Yes.

Caller: (Sounding even more wonderfully delighted). Wonderful! And are you part of a couple?

Bone Junior: A couple?

Caller: Yes; are you married, engaged, or living with a significant other?

Bone Junior: Blink blink. Takes deep breath. Firmly sets jaw, squares shoulders, adjusts boobs, and clenches fist. No; no I'm not. I'm very happily single, and you know what? Utah is the only place in the world where I'm viewed as being a spinster because I'm single at the age of twenty five almost twenty six. Do you know how many of my friends outside of Utah are my age and single? ALL OF THEM. AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

Caller: Thank you for your time, but I'm sorry; you don't qualify for our promotion.

Bone Junior: Your
FACE doesn't qualify for your promotion!

Caller: I'm sorry?

Bone Junior:


Timbre said...

For what it's worth, not only am I, too, single, but when they called me, I didn't even get past the "do you make this much money" question. Ahhh, the joys of being a public school teacher. said...

I'd give you the trip in a heartbeat. You totally deserve it, unlike most of the people who actually go on those things.

Andi Mae said...

Oh, to only be the person on the other end of that phone call. Tell 'em how it is!