Tuesday, January 16, 2007

A Word of Advice

Here's a thought...

When you finally work up the nerve to call your crush and ask him out to the upcoming Jazz / Nets game, and your call goes to his voicemail, and you're leaving him a well-thought-out, witty message, it's probably not a good idea to start the message with a greeting that indicates what you refer to him as when you're talking about him to your roommates.

"Hey, Hot Rob.....(awkward pause and moment of self-realization, followed by sheer terror and the shattering sound of me slowly dying a little inside)....it's Bone Junior......"

Just a thought.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed and never coming out.


g said...

OH MY GOSH. I love you more than words can say. That is totally something that I would do. You have my deepest sympathy. Although he may find it cute and flattering- or he might not even realize what you said. Maybe he'll think you said Hey- NOT Rob. or Heyot Rob! You never know. Don't let it destroy your newfound confidence from Christmas break. PLEASE. Also that cartoon is so funny and really sick- it made me kind of nauseated.

li'l mil said...

even if he thinks he knows what you said, he'll probably talk himself into thinking you said something else, and you totally have time to think of a cover.

besides, what guy is really going to flatter himself to the extent that he's going to ask you if you called him "hot rob"?? :) seriously:

HR: "hey, when you called, did you call me hot rob?"
BJ: "hot rob?? HA. no, i think that's about the point in the message when an enormously huge bug flew in my mouth. but that would've been funny to call you hot rob."
HR: "oh, well, i really thought you said hot rob."
BJ: "nope, just a bug."
HR: "because i AM really hot, you know."
BJ: [pause]"ok"
HR: "i mean, you're looking at me right now, don't you think i'm really hot?"
BJ: "ummmmmm, really, it was just a bug. i almost choked to death on it, you should have see---"
HR: "you don't think i'm hot? because i really think i am. i always thought my left side was hotter than my right side. what do you think? how about from this angle? am i hot from this angle?"
BJ: "you know, i've gotta go wash my hair now."
HR: "even my HAIR is hot, can't you tell?? look, look closely. not even a single split end. isn't that hot?"
BJ: [slowly closing door]"um, sure. but you know what? i think the lighting here is bad. maybe if you go stand under that streetlight across the street i'll be able to better judge your hotness."
HR: "good idea!" [calling from across the street] "NOW can you tell how hot i am?? oh wait, that's my right side, NOW can you tell? bone junior? bone junior? [door is closed, locked, barricaded, and bone junior is putting the finishing screws in a deadbolt]

Bone Junior said...

You left out the part where I laugh awkwardly, then run away.

Andi Mae said...

Maybe he won't notice. Or if he does he will take it as a really great compliment and decide he would like to slip into your bosom. Figuratively speaking, of course.

hizznizzle said...

(golf clapping) BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO.

Bone Junior said...

As one of my close friends (who shall remain anonymous, but let's call her Idna Eam said, "Well....it's not all your fault. Hot Rob rolls off the tongue a lot easier than just "Rob"
He should be willing to understand that, otherwise he'll be douche bag Rob."

barb said...

i hope, for your sake, he doesn't read your blog.

for my sake it would be pretty funny, though.

Beth said...

Ok, so I've read this little story.. which is totally hilarious... but I have to tell you, that cartoon is freakin' me out. I checked your blog this morning and saw that your last post was still the one with the computer guy and I tried to switch to someone else's blog as fast as I could before he turned into a bloody stump. It's like a game.. ya know.. I'm staring at him while my computer is taking it's sweet time.. thinking "AHHH!!! HE'S GONNA GET BLOODY!!! HUURRRYYY" It's like a friggin train wreck.. I can't look away.

Erin said...

that is awesome! I would play it off all confident and stuff. but that is so funny. i love you.