Monday, January 28, 2008

In Pursuit of the Perfect Dress

When G told me that she was getting engaged, I told her that I'd only come to her wedding on one condition: that I get to wear turquoise. She's not having any bridesmaids, but I wanted to wear the traditional bridesmaid color anyway, complete with dyed-to-match pumps.

This weekend, I found my dress. It's not quite turquoise - it's more sea foam green, but it's close enough. I bought the dress and called G immediately to inform her of my fantastic find, and left her a message to tell her that I'd be waiting with baited breath and heaving bosom to hear from her.

This morning, G and I were chatting online and she wanted me to describe the dress. I have such an amazing way with words that after several paragraphs of descriptive terms, G still had no idea what the dress actually looked like. So I told her I'd draw her a color rendering, and draw it I did.

Please note: drawing specifications are exactly to scale, especially the bust and skin tone.All I have to do now is whittle my arms down to sticks, chop off my pinkies, get a boob job, and spend enough time in the sun so that I actually become black.

9 comments:

photography by Mikki said...

mexican prostitute.

$teve said...

Nice. It's a shame that you're going to show up your friend in that dress...but maybe she'll go to the tanning booth with ya. :)

Bone Junior said...

I can't believe I've been called a mexican prostitute.

Booyah, baby!

G- the one you will be showing up said...

the red lips definitely make it. i am glad you added them.

Erin said...

I always wanted a black friend. you have fulfilled my life long dream...thank you.

li'l mil said...

Andi will probably notice this too, but I'm saying it first: Those pumps are definitely NOT DYED TO MATCH. Sheesh.

Also, you get brownie points for the symmetrical boobies. That's tough to pull off, especially in Paint.

hizznizzle said...

I am saying that the color is green, not turquoise! But the skin color is dead on!

Andi Mae said...

Oh my gosh.

Your stick hands look like cartoon brooms.

And I love your wicked awesome balloon boobs. Do they float?

Bone Junior said...

Not only do they float, but they motorboat like a mo-fo.