Monday, May 14, 2007

Dedicated to Anonymous

Lately, my life has been boring. I know this. And it's not always easy to consistently come up with amusing anecdotes and life lessons with which to create the cornucopia of humor that is my blog.

And now with McBicep gone, there's not much exciting boy drama going on either. I suppose I could blog about how he nestled me into his ginormous bosom, (and when I say bosom, I mean the biggest pecs you've ever seen in real life) and how my little heed fit perfectly in between them and below his chin as he held me and tenderly caressed my back when we said goodbye. I could blog about how even through my tears, I thought about how funny it would be to motorboat his pecs at that moment.

But who wants to hear about sappy crap like that?

Funny things don't always happen to me, so from time to time, I blog about the normal things, like perverted Hangman. Or like today, when I tell you that what's between my legs is worth over 100K:

Get your mind out of the gutter and feast your eyes on the glory that was my garage this weekend. We played storage unit to some fancy motorcycles that looked pretty nice next to the Camaro. That's a custom-made chopper and a brand new Harley, for those of you "Anonymouses" (or is it "Anonymi"? I'm never good with plurals) that are bored by my day to day activites. No, there's nothing funny or entertaining about the bikes, I just think they're cool. So get off my back, and please to enjoy a true funny story from my weekend.

How To Get a Good Laugh At The Expense of Others:

1. Volunteer to work in the ward garden at 7 AM on a Saturday for no other reason than to get a tan.

2. Gag a little when you see the huge pile of fresh poop that you have to put into each seed hole.

3. Convince the other girls there that it's a well-known Amish gardening secret to spit into each seed hole before you cover it over, complete with a proper spitting demonstration.

4. Stand back and laugh as you watch the girls bending over the seed holes, ever-so-delicately spitting into each one.

I knew the gardening experience would be a memorable one when I'd gotten an email from Hot Rob on Friday, asking if I had any seed requests. I told him that I wanted to plant swinging vines. And he didn't think it was very funny. I wonder if Hot Rob is "Anonymous"?


barb said...

i think anonymous was having a little blog envy. jerk.

oh and their comment was gay. and annoying.

love you long time.

oh and p.s. anonymous wasn't me.

Tarable said...

Anonymous comments suck anyways. And people who leave anonymous comments need to grow a set.

You know you can adjust your blog to not accept Anonymous comments? I'm thinking of doing just that.

Tarable said...

Oh and by the way, those bikes rock!

The Rules said...

Hey! My comments aren't gay! Or annoying! And I've got a rather nice set, thank you very much.

That said, the anonymous comment wasn't mine, either.

hizznizzle said...

Reading this I thought first that I was reading a romance novel and I thought she could totally make this hilarious if she through in a bbbbritski (or motorboat as referred to it) in to those pecs.

Then in true form you mentioned it.

My only advice for you in a situation like that is next time follow your gut and throw down the biggest "motorboat" you can muster.

I will think you are the coolest and lets face it, what else could be better than that?

Oh yeah, nice bikes.

li'l mil said...

Anonymous can come out here and eat Li'l Mil's dirty diapers. (PS: it wasn't me!) Also, who suggests that bloggers have cowriters? Seriously. Defeats the whole purpose of a blog. Especially a hilarious one such as this.

This is probably a stupid question that will once again make you ashamed to be related to me, but what is a motorboat?

love you long long time

Andi Mae said...

It wasn't me either, just because I noticed that I didn't leave a comment, I didn't want you to think I all of a sudden went rude and anonymous.

Can't wait to see pictures of you in some kind of costume taking advantage of those bikes. And by that I don't necessarily mean by licking hood ornaments or the like...

Anonymous said...

See the interesting thing about posting anonymously is that I can feel free to say what ever I like and evidently not knowing my identity, you can too. Isn’t it interesting how if you only knew who I was then maybe your friends wouldn’t be so quick to call me a “jerk”. It is also interesting how your friends suddenly feel pressure to prove themselves to you in a 12 year old B.F.F. kind of way promising to cover your back as long as it means they only have to call names. Well, let’s see if you can eliminate your friends one by one and single me out.

Erin said...

I suggest you get rid of the anonymous option so this donkey who doesn't have the juevos to tell you what they think as themselves, can't comment anymore. Also, someone who is really your friend wouldn't post anonymous...and t ry to turn you on the rest of your friends.

HPLuvr said...

"Anonymous needs to recruit a co-writer so that their comments are always current and amusing. :)" Or Bone Junior needs to fess up to the one posing as Anonymous so as to drum up some controversy.

Bone Junior said...

I WISH I could confess to being Anonymous, but I can't take credit for those shots below the belt. Maybe Anonymous and the McBicep website creator are one and the same?

Gloriana said...

maybe anonymous IS McBicep...