No Bones About It : The Departed

Last night, I had a hot date with my roommate-who-shall-remain-anonymous for reasons which will late become apparent. For the sake of clarity, I'll call her "Yanaj."

In the years that she's known me, Yanaj has always maintained a safe distance of caution when I recommend a movie to her, and vice versa. Neither of us has bad taste in movies, we just like very different things. Yanaj loves Star Trek and sc-fi, and I do not. Then again, I love blood and guts and blowing stuff up, and she does not.

This is illustrated best by the movies that we watch when no one else is around: Nicole (my old roommate who moved to Tejas) watches Full House and chick flicks when she's alone, Yanaj watches British comedies and Star Trek episodes, and I watch Predator and the Rambo movies. So you can see where there might be some differences of opinion.

Yanaj also hates scary movies, and actually turned this into a bargaining tool. Our conversation went something like this:

Bone Junior: "Please please PLEASE go see this scary movie with me! No one else wants to go!"
Yanaj: Contemplating momentarily before responding, "Not just no, but hell no."
Bone Junior: "Come on, PLEASE!!"
Yanaj: "If I go see this movie with you, then you have to go see the next sci-fi Trekky movie that comes out with me."
Bone Junior: Clenching fists in frustration before stomping out of the room.

Needless to say, we did not go to see that scary movie. It just wasn't worth it for me, but Yanaj is usually a good sport about tolerating my movies. There is no small amount of cajoling and pressuring on my part. I have to tell her over and over again that not only will she like it, but she'll love it so much that it hurts.

It warms the cockels of my heart when she actually likes something that I force upon her, especially when she's resisted and mocked for an extended length of time. Some of my more recent victories include Rocky; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia; and Boondock Saints. She has yet to convince me to watch a single Star Trek episode.

So when I suggested that we go see The Departed and doubt flickered across her face, I warmed up my hands for the challenge. I knew it wouldn't take much to convince her; after all, making people do things is what I do best. I was surprised when she conceeded after only a few minutes of my desperate persuasion, and most of it involved me saying "Mark Wahlberg" over and over again without letting her get a word in edgewise. I also slipped in a few "Alec Baldwin"s in there - she's got a thing for The Shadow. I think she gave in out of pure exasperation, but score one for The Bone, and off we went.

The Departed was, in a nut shell, one of the most awesome movies I've seen this year. It's bloody and gutsy in classic Scorsese style, and I'll pay $7.50 any day to listen to Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matt Damon speaking in hot Southy accents. Which brings me to my next point: The DiCaprio.

I'll admit, I jumped on The DiCaprio teen heart-throb bandwagon, swooning over Romeo and Jack. But after puberty, I've never really found him to be particularly attractive, let alone sexy. And I haven't thought much of his acting career either, so he wasn't the major draw for me to see this movie. I was really surprised at his turn in The Departed - he's finally grown into his puddin' face and embodied sultry. As Nicole would say (like she did when she watched Wolverine peel out on his chopper in X3), "He is a tortured maaaaaaaaaaaaaan." One love, DiCaprio. Nice going - you even got Yanaj fired up, which is no small feat.

The intensity and thrill of The Departed is best summed up by Yanaj's reply to me before we left the sanctity of the theater.

Bone Junior: "Did you like it?"
Yanaj: Contemplating momentarily before responding, "Let me put it this way. If you were a guy, and you took me to see this movie, I'd definitely put out for you tonight."

Score two for The Bone.