Monday, January 03, 2011

The Bone Family Does Christmas

The Bone Family Christmas could be known by many different names. For example, The Week I Found Out My Dog Is Racist; or, The Week My Dad Sulked and Pouted and Didn't Talk To Me All Week.

Perhaps specific events could be known as The Christmas Eve That Half My Family Went to the Emergency Room; or The Night My Brother-in-Law Passed Out and I Kept Eating While My Sister Supported the Dead Weight of His Body.

Or The Moment My Dog Went Batshit Crazy and Bit My Step-Sister's Fiance Who is Vietnamese, Which Created a Trail of Blood Leading to the Kitchen Where My Brother-in-Law Passed Out and I Kept Eating While My Sister Supported the Dead Weight of His Body Which All Ended With Half My Family Going to the Emergency Room and also a Three-Day Hospital Stay for a Staph Infection.

Other memorable moments could include The Night I Stayed Home to Make Peace and Watch the Eagles Game With My Dad but he Sulked and Watched it Alone In His Room, So I Ate All of His Favorite Potato Chips to Get Back At Him. Or The Night We Tried to Have a Civil Grownup Responsible Conversation With My Dad About How My Racist Dog Needed to be Put Down Because He's Bitten So Many People and My Dad Announced That He and the Dog Would Be Moving Out to a Place of Their Own.

I have no idea where I get my dramatic-over-reacting streak from. No idea at all.

The long, cold, silent week ended with me on a plane back to Utah, still angry at my Dad for pouting all week, and still laughing about my brother-in-law passing out.

Good times.

3 comments:

li'l mil said...

Well hey, at least you know that the sight of blood doesn't affect your appetite, right?

Heather said...

Oh my gosh. Only you can write about such fascinating events in such a way :) I love you! Here's hoping for a stellar Martin Luther King day!

andi said...

NEVER a dull moment.