Friday, January 21, 2011

Roller Derby: Week 3

Should I start with the good news or the bad news? Maybe I should just start with a picture that truly encompasses me, as a roller derby skater, in my element:
That's me. While everyone else is in derby stance, looking like they're ready to rip someone's head off, there's Bone Junior, struggling to just stand on my skates. Arms flailing, face in complete panic, losing my balance - this sums up my third night of roller derby. I'll give you a minute to stop laughing and let that sink in.

The good news is that I have actually been able to walk after Thursday night's practice! The bad news is, I'm sure the only reason I can walk is because I half-assed it at Thursday night's practice. Aside from my normal apprehension, I was extra-scared because I strained my groin earlier in the week. I wish I could say that I strained it from practicing skating, but in true Bone Junior fashion, I strained it by trying to drop down and get my eagle on. And then I couldn't get back up.

So, all week I was moaning and groaning and contemplating skipping derby. Have you ever had a strained groin? I didn't realize how much I use my groin muscles until this week, because every movement hurt. All it would take is one flailing fall, and I was going to feel like I'd been split up the middle. I was terrified of derby this week.

We learned some new skills this week, like jumping over cracks in the concrete. I'm pretty good at tripping over the cracks, but jumping...not so much. My brother's girlfriend Blake came to watch, and she got some really good videos that I am way too embarrassed to post, but she also got some good pics that still embarrass me, but oh well. What fun would my blog be if I wasn't willing to embarrass myself?

This is me showing off the one skill I've been able to master: hands over the vag. That's one of our mantras: always keep your hands over the vag; otherwise, flailing elbows can get you a penalty.
The other mantra we have is in regard to proper derby stance: tits over knees over toes. This is me and Gina doing derby stance, in pain. Notice how well I have my hands over the vag. At least I've got that basic skill down.
Hey look, I actually look like I'm having fun!

Stretching out with some of the veterans. You can tell they're vets because of the cool stickers on their helmets, as opposed to my brand new shiny helmet.

So I've got three more weeks before the skills test, which means I've got a lot of work to do. Stopping, getting a running start, controlled falling, jumping over objects - it seems daunting and I still get really frustrated with myself for not being better. But I'm still not giving up.


LecNessMonster said...

I thought only boys had groins. *shrug*.

li'l mil said...


You look awesome, by the way, and not the least bit in pain. WIN. Hope your groin is back to 100% so you can drop down and get your eagle on for REALZ soon. And video that, please. You know we'd all love to see it in action. And by "it" I mean "YOU."

IndyGo Wylde said...

You rock darling! I miss you and when I come back I am certain you will be out skating me in a big way. See you Thursday!

li'l mil said...

I SAW THE VIDEOS. Where did they go??? That post showed up on my Google Reader yesterday and then I couldn't click through to the page, it said it didn't exist. REPOST!!