The Return of Tasty: Part Deux

Thanks in part to the new colon cleanse I'm trying (aptly called "The Royal Flush" apparently because I now spend most of my time perched upon the porcelin throne) I haven't been in the most jovial of moods lately. I've spent most of my time complaining to Bone Senior that I have nothing funny to blog about. Ever the voice of reason, she said, "Not everything you write about has to be funny.... Try writing about the war in Lebanon or something."

So that's what I started out to do - write about something meaningful. But when it came to blogging about Lebanon, all I could come up with was that I like their bologna. So it was a no-go.

Then I started to blog about how I spent the night sandwiched between two boxers, but that sounded way too dirty for this lil' angel, so I nixed that as well. (The boxers, BTW, are Lucy and Rosie, my hairdresser's dogs, as seen stage left.)

Thank goodness for Eagle Eyes Erin, or I'd have nothing to talk about. I received another excited message from her this afternoon... "I found another TASTY!" And that did it. I peed a little as soon as I heard those familiar words, and our recon work began.

New Tasty had been spotted on the very same road as the former Tasty, which happens to go right by my work. On an accessibility scale from 1-10, Erin assured me that New Tasty was about a 9, and wouldn't be hard for us to retrieve. Upon arrival of the rondesvous (I have no idea how to spell that but I hope you get my drift) point, code named "the side of the road by the New Tasty", we saw that maybe the ole snatch-n-grab would be harder than originally thought - for a few reasons.

First, we were pulled over on the side of one of the busiest streets in the area, in daylight.

Second, New Tasty was nailed to a light post stationed on the side of the mountain. The climb up to New Tasty was overgrown with itchy, sticky plants, rocks and gravel. The mountain side was also at least an 70 degree angle.

Third, neither of us had brought our spelunking gear. The fact that we were climbing a mountain and not going into caves has absolutely no bearance on the dilemma that was presented by our lack of spelunking gear. We were, however, wearing flip flops.

Fourth, I am not now, nor have I ever been, tall enough to actually reach any of the Tasties. Hence the need for spelunking gear. (Just go with me on this one.) In the absence of spelunking gear, an Erin or a Janay will do just fine.

After assessing the situation, Erin and I gracefully scrambled, clawed, pulled, and crawled our way up the mountain. It took Erin all of two seconds to gently rip New Tasty from his pole, whereupon we discovered something new - New Tasty was nailed to a smaller piece of wood, which had "Tasty Loser" written on it..... a new clue?

Here you can see the up-close detail of New Tasty. This one is personally my favorite because of the use of purple. But New Tasty doesn't get us any closer to solving the overall mystery. There are the same markings though - the trademark symbol, the random number, the diseased eye (what is with this guy and eye gunk?), the five o'clock shadow (is Tasty homeless and can't afford a razor?), the oddly spelled word ("chaire" in this case), and the strangely dramatic phrase ("cruel fate").

Tasty sounds like he's taking a turn for the dark and dramatic side. I supposed I'd be depressed too if I always had gross oozy gunk seeping from my eye.