Friday, March 04, 2011

Roller Derby: Week 9

Roller Derby Week 9, also known as Bone Goes Bowling for Deidra, also known as Bone Does the Splits and Breaks Summer's toe-stop in the process, also known as The Red Rockettes Get Boned by Bone Junior.

This week's practice was one of the most fun I've had. I got to scrimmage for the first time - I even got to be the jammer once, also known as Bone Nearly Had An Asthma Attack Trying to Keep Up With the Pack and She Doesn't Even Have Asthma. I have never been so out of breath as I was when I was jamming. The only time I actually made it through the pack was when Manna and Babe each grabbed one of my hands and sling-shotted me forward. Talk about a top spinning out of control? That was me.

Speaking of out of control, that could be the phrase that described my entire night at derby. And unfortunately for the Rockettes, they suffered the brunt of that. Let's start with Summer. Poor Summer got paired up with me for a blocking/jamming drill. We made it around the track twice before my skates tangled with hers, and the next thing I knew, I was doing the splits and Summer's toe stop went flying. It looked like I'd been ripped right up the middle, but amazingly enough, I didn't get hurt. Summer had to sit out for a few minutes to fix her skate because did I mention that her toe stop went flying?

Next we got matched up for 2-on-1 blocking/jamming drills. This infamous moment has become known as Bone Goes Bowling for Deidra, because that's exactly what happened. Picture me as the bowling ball, and poor Deidra as the unsuspecting, bystanding bowling pin. She was just standing in line, minding her own business, waiting for her turn to drill. Two laps around the track, a few tangled skates later, and Deidra went down; completely taken out by an out-of-control me. Lucky for us, the paparazzi was able to get a few shots of this exact moment.(We're lucky to have derby husbands that come along with awesome cameras.)
In case you couldn't tell, that's me in the black helmet, baseball sliding into Deidra, in the pink helmet. Amazingly enough, we both got right up, laughing and unscathed. Well, mostly unscathed.That's my elbow, the morning after I became a human bowling ball. It looks a lot worse than it feels, and we were all able to laugh about it. I even deemed a new catch phrase for every time I hit, block, knock over, or otherwise maim another derby girl: "You've been Boned!" More often than not, I'm Boning myself. And yes, I intended for it to sound that way.

Between Boning everyone, I was really have a blast, and gained an even greater appreciation for the other girls I have the privilege of skating with. These girls never cease to amaze me. I spend a lot of time just watching them with my jaw hanging open, hoping and praying that someday I'll be as bad ass as they are. They can stop on a dime, cut from side to side, block girls twice their size, and jam past girls half their size. I love that we are a team of all shapes, sizes, professions - we are all so different, but there's not a girl on this team that doesn't yell and cheer for everyone else. I love that in every picture, we're all smiling and laughing and loving what we're trying to do. And there's not a girl on the team that doesn't inspire, encourage, and push me to do better.

Me and Indy practicing blocking and jamming.

Me and G practicing hitting.

Me practicing how to get a butt like England's - my true inspiration.


Jackie said...

What I'd give to come and watch you live...

Keep up the good work, Bone Jr.

Deidra said...

Ooooo! Your elbow looks wicked! Still laughing.

Gina said...

Super glad you got new pads... That will save your elbow from getting Boned next time.