Roller Derby: Week 5

You may be wondering why there's no post about week four, and the simple answer is that week four, I played hookie from derby. That day at work had been one of the most frustrating, feeling like I'm banging my head against the wall, with no one taking my input or opinion seriously; and I was just so burned out that derby seemed like a hurdle I couldn't clear. Everyone tried to tell me that I should still go, that it would be a release for my anger and aggression; to which I replied that sure, if I were good at skating and derby, I could see how it would be a cathartic release for my anger. But, given that I still stink at skating and still get extremely frustrated with myself during practice, I felt that "skating out my aggression" would be about as fulfilling as slamming one of those doors that has the catch mechanism on it, so that you literally CANNOT slam the door. And that makes me even more mad.

Long story short, I was on the verge of a meltdown, and the last people I want to melt down in front of is these bad ass, tough as nails Red Rockettes. I'm still trying to convince them that I have what it takes to be a derby girl, and I didn't think that having a throw-down-bawling tantrum in the middle of practice would pretty much ruin my street cred. So, no derby for me last week.

Week five was really fun, we almost never stopped skating around the track, practicing all the skills we've learned so far. My Fresh Meat Mama, Wanton, wasn't there, so our OTHER Fresh Meat Mama, England's Glory, took over and was very patient with us newbies.

We skated laps, laps, laps, and more laps. We were supposed to alternate sprinting (skating as fast as we can) and "regular skating", which is really more about coasting along for me. I practiced gliding on one leg, stopping, jumping - which really did not go well - and some of our falls. Last time I tried a one-knee slide, I felt like my quad ripped in half and then I couldn't get back up, so I was pretty apprehensive about trying it again this week. But, my sister's words echoed in my head: "Don't be scared!", and I just went for it. And guess what. I got back up! I went down on one knee, came to a complete stop, and I GOT BACK UP! I was so stoked that I even tried it a few more times. Score one for the Bone.

Then we learned how to hit, and how to take a hit without losing control or getting penalties. You're supposed to use your hips and upper body to bump the girl without losing your balance, tripping over their skates, flailing your arms, or falling. I was able to successfully bump girls and achieve all of the things we were trying to avoid: losing my balance, tripping over skates, and flailing my arms while falling.

The best part of the night was the pace line. We skate single file around the track, keeping pace with the girl in front of us, while checking over our shoulders for the girls behind us. The last person in line had to weave in between each girl ahead of her, and give them a hit as she passed. Skating in line and keeping pace was the easy part, and even taking the hits wasn't too bad. Then it was my turn to weave in and out and give the hits. That's when things took a turn for the worst.

I did ok weaving in and out of the first few girls. I was about halfway through the pace line when I tangled with a tall girl and she totally took me out. I flipped ass over teakettle, one of my legs went under me and my butt landed square on my skate wheels. That didn't feel too good, but I got up and caught up to the pace line to keep going.

Not too long after that, I skated up along side one of the tougher girls and tried to give her a hit. My skates got tangled in hers, I started to lose my balance, and in trying to save myself from going down, I was frantically grabbing at whatever I could. And by "frantically grabbing whatever I could", I mean "I pretty much violated all of her naughty parts in the process." So my sincere apologies to Becky for grabbing just about everything in her no-no square.

In all, it was a really fun night of skating and although I'm sore today, at least I'm able to walk. Now I just have to worry about passing the skills test next week...