Thursday, February 26, 2009

In Which I Become A Snotty Haiku Know-It-All

I was listening to the radio on my way home from work today and the DJ was holding a contest for Fallout Boy concert tickets. The first person to call in with a Haiku about Fallout Boy would win the tickets. Easy enough.

The first two callers didn't even know what a Haiku was. The DJ mocked them incessantly and so did I because who doesn't know what a Haiku is?

The third caller got on the air and proceeded to have a conversation with the DJ about the correct format for a Haiku.

Caller: Is it three-six-three?

DJ: No, it's six-four-six!

Caller: Are you sure? I thought it was six-three-six.

DJ: No, come on man, everyone know's a Haiku is six-four-six! Now, go! Haiku!

Caller: Ok....I like Fallout Boy...they're great...refrigerator.

DJ: Great! You win the tickets!

Blink. Blink. What? Are you kidding me? Even if a Haiku was six-four-six, that caller didn't even come close! Refrigerator?? I was not going to stand for this.

It took two straight minutes of ringing before the DJ answered.

DJ: Hello! X-96!

Bone Junior: Um, hi? I just wanted to tell you that a Haiku is actually, yeeeeah.

DJ: Oh! Really! Great! That's funny!

Bone Junior: So can I get some Fallout Boy tickets because I was right?

DJ: Well, I'll be doing the contest same time tomorrow so you have twenty-four hours to think of a good Haiku and call back!

Bone Junior: Hmph. What's really funny is how you were making fun of the callers who didn't know what a Haiku was and here you didn't even know what a real Haiku was.

DJ: Oh! Great! Dontcha just love hypocrisy and double standards!

Bone Junior: Hmph.

DJ: Great! Well, thanks for the call!

Less than a minute later, I heard my call broadcast over the radio. Hearing myself, I wanted to reach through the radio and slap myself for being so pompous.

Still, I was right and he was wrong. And anyone who was listening to X-96 at 5:15 pm knows it now too.

Totally worth it.


li'l mil said...

I'm thrilled you were a snotty haiku know-it-all. Someone has to set the world straight. Maybe you should take that DJ's job. And his tickets.

PS: Can I stream X96 here in Philly??

Scratch Subtle said...

Miss your snottiness.
Winning tickets is your right.

Kameron D Kiggins said...

The most disappointing part is that this haiku travesty happened on X 96. Don't know if I can listen to that station any longer...

Steve and Rox said...

Hey! I hope you don't mind, but I added you to my blog roll list thing because I think you are hilarious!


The Mad Scientist said...

I was wondering who that ass was...

andi said...

I love that you call radio stations. I am a dialer-and-don't-press-send kind of person. Go you.