Monday, March 02, 2009

I Admit It; I Love Vanilla Ice

Last Friday night, I got to experience something that totally brought my amazing year of fulfilling dreams full circle. For one night only, Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer appeared in concert together...in Utah. Yeah, I don't get it either. Why Utah of all places to start the revolution? But the point is that they were HERE! And I was THERE!

Yes, I'm slightly embarrassed for myself, but not because I went to the concert. I'm embarrassed for myself because after all these years, I still found myself strangely attracted to Vanilla Ice. As Lady says, it's because he's so angular.

I'm also slightly embarrassed for myself because throughout the course of the night, I got both my butt and my vagina smacked in the course of three seconds and by the same guy...my date. But more about that later.

Sadly, Vanilla Ice pretty much sucked because he spent almost all his time singing his "new" stuff; and by "new", I mean the "heavy metal screaming into the mic crap he wrote while he was high on ecstasy in the mid 90's". The whole time I kept thinking, come on dude, no one wants to hear anything except Ice Ice Baby. And hey, maybe a little ninja rap. [I'm not kidding when I tell you that I made my dad take me to the Ninja Turtles 2 movie for the sole reason that Vanilla Ice was in it. I still don't really understand why he was in it, but hey, any guy that can roll his pelvis like that is OK with me.]

Even if he sucked, he still looked hot and let me tell you, when he finally did "Ice Ice Baby", we went wild. It was freaking hilarious. And then, as if things couldn't have gotten any better, HE DID THE NINJA RAP! That's about the point when I made wateh and clapped my hands with glee.

Back to the butt/vag smack, because I know that's what you're all really interested in hearing about.

There are certain songs that, when played, bring out a side of us that we usually keep hidden. My song is "Tootsie Roll", and my "side" is the ghetto-drop-down-and-get-your-eagle-on side. I know, I know. But don't act like you don't have a song and corresponding side, ok? I'm talking to you, Erin. You and your booty dance. Don't judge me.

So before the concert actually started, the music playing was an awesome soundtrack from the early to mid 90's. I'm talking about classics like "Shoop" that really take you back to fifth grade. My friend Melissa and I were singing and dancing when "Tootsie Roll" came on, and then we really started singing and dancing. Her brother Shane was my date and he was standing behind me. Shane and I have been out a few times, but I don't think he was prepared for what he saw when I started to "Dip, baby, dip!" along to the song.

I gotta give Shane credit because what was he supposed to do other than start smacking my butt? When in Rome, right? Unfortunately, I wasn't prepared for him to join in and when I felt the butt smacking, I didn't know who was doing it, and within a split second, I whirled around as he continued the smacking motion, and by the time I was facing him, he was mid smack, and it was too late to stop the momentum. Hence the vag smack.

Does that count as getting to second base?


9 comments:

Josh and Gloriana said...

hahahaah - let's hope he doesn't read this blog- because that vag smack comment might make him die a little inside.

$teve said...

Say what you will about Vanilla Ice...but he made hip hop what it is today and gave it it's first real exposure. Maybe not the best exposure ever...but still. :)

And yeah, I think that does count...jelly... :)

andi said...

Word to your mother.

li'l mil said...

Isn't that 3rd base?

LecNessMonster said...

If I may quote you, "Lady: This is neither the time nor the place to drop down and get your eagle on."

(Bone Junior to LecNessMonster at the Elvis Dance Party 2006: Memphis, TN.)

Rose said...

Did he find any pearls?

Lee said...

Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go...

Kelsey said...

Hahahaha I'm laughing so hard right now. I didn't know you guys went. That's awesome. Vanilla Ice & 2nd base in one night. Haha.

Roulstone's said...

I miss you!! You never cease to make me crack up with laughter! I love reading your blogs!