Saturday, June 30, 2007

No Bones About It: Live Free or Die Hard

Top Eleven Reasons Why Live Free or Die Hard was Freakin Bad Ass:

11. It was everything I want in a summer action film: hot, sweaty, fast, with a ripped up shirt and lots of shooting and blowing things up.

10. I don't care how old he is, Bruce Willis is one sexy older man.

9. It's a crack up to see Justin Long's awesomely pre-pubescent patchy facial hair, even though he's almost thirty years old.

8. Bruce Willis is freaking hot.

7. During the previews, a local celebrity (who shall remain unnamed) came on screen and Erin turned to the complete stranger woman next to her and proclaimed, "That guy dry humped my friend!" Pauses when the stranger gives no reaction. "UNWANTINGLY!" As if the fact that our friend was dry humped without invitation gives more shock value to the story. And it does. The point is that every time I see that guy, I think to myself, "Huh. That's the guy who dry humped my friend." And one time I was at the mall when Yanaj grabbed me and pointed, "Isn't that the guy who dry humped your friend?" Yes. Yes it is.

6. I love Bruce Willis.

5. It had the longest list of credited stunt people that I've ever seen in my entire life.

4. Unbelievable action action action, non-stop, from beginning to end, with a few cheap jokes thrown in for good may-sure.

3. Erin kept turning to me and saying, "Bruce Willis is bad ass!", to which I would reply, "FREAKING bad ass!"

2. Filmmakers captured this stunt in only one take.

1. Even Erin liked it. Erin, who confessed at dinner, which followed prom dress shopping (yes, prom dress shopping for yours truly) that she didn't even want to see the new Die Hard movie, but had agreed to come along because I "never" go to see any movies that she wants to see; to which I pointed out that I had gone to a movie of her choosing when we saw Premonition at the dollar theater; to which she pointed out that I had wanted to see Premonition because I love Dr. Christian Troy; to which Yanaj pointed out that his eyebrows and cheek bones are too perfectly sculpted to be natural and that he probably sleeps standing up in a cardboard box because he's an android.

Go see this movie. I know I'll definitely be there again.

7 comments:

Erin said...

it was an awesome movie...totally bad ass. and that stunt with the helocopter and the car was so cool! i kind of want to go see that movie again.

HPLuvr said...

Ya know...I would totally pick BW out of a semi-crowded classroom as a guy that you're into. Why? Well, he isn't the rock... :)

Anonymous said...

Does this dry-rapist's name start with a "K" and en in "irby"?

MG said...

Do you remember that one time in the first Die Hard when Bruce Willis walked barefoot across broken glass from a shattered window? Yeah, me too. That was awesome.

Andi Mae said...

May I just second or third the fact that BW is hot hot hot.

li'l mil said...

Li'l Mil says BW is his bad-a idol. He also says that there should be an "American Bad-A" reality call-in voting show. THAT would be bad-a.

Bone Junior said...

The dry-rapist's name did not begin with a "K" and end with an "irby" however, the dry-rapist WAS in a movie that begins with "S" and ends with "ingles Ward".