Sunday, November 19, 2006

No Bones About It: Happy Feet

While most of the movie nerds were seeing Casino Royale, I admit it. I went to see Happy Feet on opening day. The previews just made it seem too darn cute to pass up - and it was. These little penguins were just about the cutest thing I've seen in a long time. I wanted to nuzzle them into my bosom and then put them in a litte box and shake them.

But while it was cute, I have to say that I don't really agree with the message - I thought it was a bit contradictory. I thought it was going to be about finding your "heartsong", and in turn, finding your Tad Hamilton; but actually its about a population that ostracizes and outcasts a penguin for being different.

For the back story, I have to borrow the words of one of my favorite movie critics, Dustin Rowles, who says it better than I could:

"The penguins’ mating habits are linked to their singing voices. It is the destiny of each penguin to find its literal “soul” mate, as do Norma Jean (Nicole Kidman) and Memphis (Hugh Jackman). Jackman’s character is, somewhat disagreeably, based on Elvis, and during the egg-warming phase of reproduction, his hips get the best of him and he loses his egg temporarily.

It’s long enough, apparently, to produce a Peyton Manning-like birth defect in his offspring, Mumble (Elijah Wood). And no, that defect is not the visage of a baby who looks as though his mother gave birth to him pressed up against a brick wall; rather, he’s got the happy feet of Colts QB about three seconds before he gives way to a Belicheckian right-side overload blitz. Unfortunately, he also has the singing voice of a Michael Vick long-ball — it’s not only hideous, but it’s off target by about seventeen octaves. "

I think its the Peyton Manning reference that really tickles me about Rowles' review. Long story short, and after a lot of weird things, Mumble (who was cast out for being different and not conforming to the standards of attraction and appeal held by his snooty penguin clan) saves the day - but only after his snooty penguin clan conforms to his standards of appeal and attraction. Literally - millions of penguins break out in choreographed line dancing.

So I thought the point of this penguin was to send the message that its OK to be different - that even if you're the only chubby brunette in a class full of walking blonde stereotypes, you can still get some action because maybe there's a huge bald guy out there with biceps as big around as your head who will let you swing around on them. I thought the message was that you don't have to conform to the norm in order to be accepted. But, according to Happy Feet, if you don't want to starve to death, you better blend in with the crowd. Which is interesting because penguins all look alike to begin with. Go figure.

But even after all the mixed messages, Happy Feet was still adorably cute and the music was infectious in a good way. It made me want to be back in front of Buffalo Bill's Resort & Casino in Primm, Nevada, watching a certain someone kick another certain someone in the shin while shuffling off to Buffalo.

Don't get me wrong, it is a cute movie, and if you can tolerate Nicole Kidman's breathy-to-the-point-of-sexually-whispering dialogue, then its fun to see. And you can't go wrong with Hugh Jackman as an Elvisy penguin named Memphis. Who am I kidding - that was my favorite part of the movie. Now get off my back.

As a side note, I want it to be known that I am one of those people - the ones who listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Apparently, I work with a bunch of Scrooge's who don't appreciate it, but that hasn't deterred me from my mission. I stream the music from one of Yahoo's stations while I'm at work, and last year, I swear that I heard "Feliz Navidad" at least eight times a day.

To prove my theory, I'm keeping a running talley and since I know you'll be on the edge of your seat about it, I'll update the talley every time I post. Consider it self-inflicted torture for being the chubby brunette who gets the shakes and sweats and is too chicken to talk to the huge bald guy with biceps as big around as your head.

Feliz Navidad Total : 6


Anonymous said...

Chubby brunettes unite! and take over the world!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Aha, but you have it backwards. The other certain someone kicked ME in the shin...after shuffling off to Buffalo.

So, was the tap dancing any good?

Anonymous said...

Ummm...You just said, "I wanted to nuzzle them into my bosom and then put them in a litte box and shake them." I'm not really sure what that means. But I laughed. So well done, Bone Jr.

p.s. you may or may not be getting a call soon from PETA and/or CPS soon. No reason.

Bone Junior said...

Andi Mae - Correction noted.
mg - Allow me to clarify. I want to put the penguins in a little box and shake them, not my bosom. Although I'm pretty sure my bosom could fit into a little box.

Erin said...

I can't wait to see how many times you listen to feliz navi-bolstad...i bet it will be lots and lots

Anonymous said...

so, is shaking your bosoms in a box anything like doing the uterus dance?

p.s. if you could digitize the 'shuffle off to buffalo' incident and post it on your blog i think you would be probably the most awesome person in the world.

g said...

big biceps to swing around on! hahahahaha

Jen said...

Who would you be referring to when you say "huge bald guy with biceps as big around as your head"? Hmmm...let me guess...