Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Where Do These People Come From and How Do They Always Find Me?

You know what I don't understand? I don't understand why some people think its okay to go up to a stranger and just blurt out whatever they're thinking.

Like when I was waiting for my two-hours-delayed flight at the Philadelphia Airport on Monday, quietly enjoying a peanut butter cup blizzard thingy from TCBY, and an older black businessman comes right up to me and says, "You know you shouldn't be eating that."

Blink. Blink.

Bone Junior: Are you saying that I'm fat?

Businessman: Um, no, ahem, no no no, I'm just saying it's bad for you.

Bone Junior: (shoving another spoonful into my mouth) Right, well thanks for the heads up, but its frozen yogurt, so it's not that bad, and I'm going to keep eating it disirregardless of your opinion.

At this point, any normal person would take the hint that they've already crossed the line with me and would go away. Not this guy. He continued to stand there and tried to engage me in conversation to the point of calling me a Phoenician from ancient Mesopotamia because of my skin coloring. Other topics touched upon include Barack Obama, my nose, my birth order, my age, him asking me to guess his age, and his opinion that if he had lived during the times of slavery that he would have been an ideal candidate for breeding. Yes, really.

The conversation ended when he told me that he believed we were kindred spirits and that he could see it in my eyes.

Buh-bye.

8 comments:

li'l mil said...

I think you answered your own question: they just see it in your eyes.

If I were you, I wouldn't be complaining about these people...they're actually providing awesome book material. (That was a plug for Bruce.)

$teve said...

I thought that we've been kindred spirits myself. I could see it in your eye (profile picture). Now I know not to bring that up at an airport while you're enjoying your yogurt. Whew...that was a close one. :)

P.S. Did you guess his age? That's usually a trick question...

Bone Junior said...

It was a totally loaded question - he had some gray in his hair so I shrugged, "Late forties? I don't know..." and he said, "You can't tell because I'm black, can you!!" and I had no idea what to say to that... early fifties was the correct answer.

Brandon & Amber said...

I seriously don't know how all these obnoxious people gravitate to you! I'm amazed that you kept the conversation going that long!

Tarable said...

Perhaps you and I are kindred spirits? Not because I can see it in your eyes but we both seem to attract the crazies.

Josh and Gloriana said...

just wait until the giant bazoombas- that's going to attract them like flies to honey my dearie :) good luck.

Andi Mae said...

You should have said, "No, I can't tell how old you are because you're black...I can't tell how old you are because of the striking similarities you are posing to a kindergartner."

LecNessMonster said...

I love your use of "disirregardless".

Not like I should talk, but I'm going to start using that one all the time.