Monday, July 14, 2008

In Which I Become A Woman

"Dad, now that I'm twenty-six, and an adult, I've made the decision to get a boob job."

Blink. Blink.

My sixty-year-old father sat across from me last weekend and stared at me as if I'd just told him that I'd eloped with my twice-my-age boyfriend at the Little Chapel in the Woods at Graceland, and by the way, I'm having his love child and can we stay with you for awhile? Then he proceeded to unload on me all of his fatherly "wisdom"; and by "wisdom" I mean, "I'm your father and I know everything about everything and there is no way in hell I'm supportive of the fact that you're making a huge mistake that you'll regret for the rest of your life."

Suffice it to say, breaking my big news to my dad did not go well.

But for the rest of you, I hope that breaking my big news goes much better.That, my friends, is a preview of the "After" result of my boob job which is happening...IN ONE WEEK! Yes, really. And everyone is invited to a "Bon Voyage Bone Junior's Boobies" dinner this Saturday night.

So if I don't blog much for the next little bit, it's probably due to a combination of the following reasons:

- My stomach is in knots as the surgery gets closer;

- I'm working on a eulogy for my sad little boobies;

- I'm shopping for all my post-op necessities: a large bra, lots of water, crackers, Benadryl, Step Up 2: The Streets on DVD, and lots of Percocet;

- I'm recovering from the pure exhilaration of seeing the midnight showing of The Dark Knight this Thursday;

- I'm so freaking excited to finally get ginormous bazoombas.

4 comments:

li'l mil said...

I would've thought you'd title this one "Big Boobs McGee." Do they let you take the samples bra shopping?

Hoss and Rose said...

Whoops, how did I do that?

So I guess the plastics doc agreed with the lady doc, eh? How was their paper robe...do they even give you one, I mean is it really necessary when you are going to bare the girls anyway?

$teve said...

Though I disagree and think that your rockin' tatas are magnificent, I respect your decision to get 'ginormous bazoombas' as you call them. I wish you the best of luck...and I too am excited for Dark Knight. :)

Erin said...

YAY for new giant boobies! I can't wait to ice you 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off for 24 hours straight...it will be my privilege...and I will call you big boobs mcgee from now on.