Sunday, December 16, 2007

Why I'm the Best Babysitter

It's that time of year again...time for me as a single person to do my annual charity work and babysit for free. I've found it to be the best form of birth control.

Friday night I stayed overnight with three of the most well-behaved kids I've ever met. They really are sweet, but its a shock to the system to be woken up at 6:30 am because they're ready to play. It's also a shock when the 4-year old pees on the wall and stops you from cleaning it up because "Mommy will clean it up later."

The most fun part was trying to explain to the six-year-old why I wasn't married. The conversation went something like this:

Six-Year-Old: Why don't you have a husband?
Bone Junior: Well, I guess I just need to find a nice boy.
Four-Year-Old: I'm a nice boy.
Bone Junior: Do you want to marry me?
Four-Year-Old: (thoughtfully contemplating) No, that's ok.

Then I taught all three kids to correctly identify the velvet Elvis on my shirt as "The King."

Saturday morning, I made breakfast for the third time in my life. Your eyes do not deceive you: those are chocolate chip pancakes (made with mini Hershey's kisses) drenched in syrup and smothered with peanut butter.

The best part was opening my camera case to find that horrendous fake spider, nearly shouting expletives and peeing myself simultaneousely, and trying to maintain some dignity in front of the two-year-old, who wasn't the least bit scared. At least the six-year-old offered to beat up her dad for hiding the spider in the first place.


$teve said...

I thought I was the only one that made pancakes like that. The King is proud of you, I'm sure. Babysitting is the best...because you can feed them those pancakes...and then send them home. Glorious. :)

li'l mil said...

I know some really nice 4-year-olds I could hook you up with...but you better act quick. My Sunbeam class moves up after Christmas.

Jen said...

What Rob leaving a fake spider for you to find. Impossible! He would never do such a thing! :) And thanks again for the birthday present last night, it's sitting next to me at work and I can't wait to hit the button!

Erin said...

umm...those...what you call "pancakes" look like um raw cookie doough. but it looks like the kids like raw cookie good job.