Thursday, November 17, 2011

Sorry That I Have An Awesome Sense of Humor and No One Else Does

I realized today that I am cursed. Cursed to work in an industry absolutely full of dirty innuendos (in YOUR endo! snicker snicker) that absolutely no one else thinks are funny. Ever.

I am cursed to sit through boring meetings full of men over 40, most of whom are engineers, and all of whom have absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever; otherwise they'd probably re-think their vocabulary. Because just about everything sounds either menstrual or dirty: illicit discharge, flow, wetlands, monthly discharge rate, generating sites of illicit get the idea. There's lots of talk about discharge, and it still makes me giggle every. Single. Time.

Today I was in one such meeting, when the presenter announced that the EPA has come up with a new slogan to describe the basic idea behind stormwater management. With fervor and enthusiasm, he proclaimed, "Slow it down! Spread it out! Soak it in!"

Blink. Blink.

Did I just hear him right? And if I did, why is no one else laughing? I squinted at his power point slide, and then at my handout of the slide, again at the slide...yep, I was right. Slow it down, spread it out, soak it in.

That's about the point when I burst out laughing, and I looked around incredulously. Seriously, how is no one else even cracking a smile at this? Do they not realize what he just said? Nothing? Sigh. I really am cursed.

I got back to the office and was giving my boss a rundown of the meeting. I started telling it like I was doing a stand-up routine. "And then! Are you ready for this? The slogan is slow it down, spread it out, soak it in! Can you believe that!"

Blink. Blink. Chirp. Chirp. I think a tumble weed may have even blown past.

"Are you kidding me? How can you not find that the least bit amusing!" I shouted at him.

"Probably because not everyone has the sense of humor of a twelve-year-old boy," he replied dryly.

So then I asked him if I could make bumper stickers with the new slogan and pass them out to residents, which was met with an immediate veto. So then I asked him if I could make a tshirt that said "Stormwater Managers Slow It Down". Also no.

I stood up, undeterred, and declared, "Your life is completely void of humor and joy. I weep for you." Then I marched out. I don't think it really had the dramatic effect I was hoping for.

My sense of humor is completely lost and unappreciated at work.


Brooke said...

Kaden keeps asking me what is so funny. I've been laughing since you told me that slogan. I feel bad for your boss and coworkers. How sad. We will weep for them together.

em said...

Not gonna lie, I'm a little disappointed that you ended with "Stormwater Managers Slow it Down" as opposed to going on and on with "Stormwater Managers Spread It Out," "Stormwater Managers Do It Slower," "Show Me Your Berm," "I Make Sure It's Protected" get the idea. I think you could have a whole t-shirt business going on here, lady.

Also, I'm doubly surprised that your creepy boss didn't get it. What the what?!?

Bone Junior said...

SHOW ME YOUR BERM! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you kill me.

andi said...

You could STILL make bumper stickers...and have them show up randomly on company cars...

Sadie Clegg said...

Hey my name is Sadie and you have absolutely no idea who I am, but I just somehow randomly came upon your blog and read a couple of your posts and was laughing pretty hard. Your blunt humor is somehow refreshing. So don't be weirded out if you somehow see me reading more of your posts haha