A Gmail Chat Between Friends

Bone Junior: I'm typing up our agenda for the meeting tomorrow and under my name I put, "Who was the more worthy opponent for Rocky: Apollo Creed or Ivan Drago?" That's my discussion item.

Yanaj: I think that's a good one to start off with. You should prepare some charts/graphs defending each contender.

Bone Junior: I think that Apollo's latent homosexuality puts him miles ahead.

Yanaj: That's true. Because he has to fight not only the man, but the stereotype.

Bone Junior: Truer words were never spoken.

And that's why I love Yanaj.

I Think I'm Going to Like it Here

What a crazy week! I started my new job last week, then spent most of the weekend catching up on sleep. Being at work at 7:30 am is an adjustment for me. I'm surprised they still want me to work there, given what a pleasant morning person I am. And by "pleasant morning person", I mean "don't speak to me until I've been awake for at least an hour and have Diet Pepsi in my system." Just ask anyone who's had the play-sure of living with me (Yanaj, Nicole, Bone Senior) or carpooling to work with me in the wee hours of the morning (Yanaj), or has had to wake up early for a baby shower with me (Erin). I'm sure they could tell wonderful tales of how much fun it is to be around me before 8 am.

Disirregardless of the schedule, the new job seems to be working out well so far. I was really sad to leave the construction company - I told everyone I didn't know what I would do, going to a job where I wasn't harassed on a daily basis, or where I wasn't given live spiders as gifts. Or where my floor mat wasn't nailed to the floor, upside down. Or where fake rats weren't put in my coat pocket. I had no idea what that kind of work experience would be like. I knew I would miss it though.

I got used to wearing jeans every day, and my Eagles jersey every Friday during football season. And now I have to dress up for work. Ugh. That in itself has proven to be an interesting topic of conversation at the new office.

My first day there, I was introduced to the girl who sits next to me. Her blog name will be...Victoria. You'll understand why in a minute.

I knew right away that I'd really like Victoria and that she'd be fun to work with. She's younger than me, probably 21-22, super cute, super friendly, and more than willing to give me the scoop on all the older ladies in the office. The first thing she said to me was, "Part of your job is to look at my outfit every day, and tell me if it's too short, too tight, or too low, okay?" Hmmm. Ok. Her comment got us on the subject of the office dress code, which spurred an interesting conversation.

Victoria: Everything I wear is either from Banana Republic or Victoria's Secret. Everything.

Bone Junior: Oh. Everything I wear is either from Ross or TJ Maxx.

Victoria: (Pause. Awkward smile.) Oh. You'll really get along with Carly then. She never pays full price for anything.

Blink. Blink.

This is when I paused and tried to figure out if her comment was really an underhanded insult. I hadn't met Carly yet, but I prayed that she wasn't some frumpy, dumpy, homely lady in a denim jumper or something. Luckily, Carly turned out to be very cute and dressed almost exactly like me. Score.

The next day, Victoria was wearing sky-high stiletto heels that were adorable, so I complimented her. 

Victoria: Thanks! They're Marc Jacobs. They were like, three hundred dollars.

Bone Junior: (Pointing to my new, black on black zebra striped flats) Do you like my shoes?

Victoria: Yeah! They're really cute!

Bone Junior: Thanks! They're Miley Cyrus. I got them from Wal-Mart for ten dollars.

I'm not even kidding. I was wearing Miley Cyrus shoes. And I don't even care because they're cute, and even better, they really were only ten dollars. Victoria told me that her entire outfit cost her over six hundred dollars. Mine cost less than twenty, altogether. 

Yes, I'm cheap and I'm proud of it. And I think I'm really going to like working next to Victoria. I need some new blog material.