Sunday, February 04, 2007

I Like Making People Uncomfortable

Last night I went out to dinner with my roommates. I did my usual obvious checking-out of the waiters (Me: "What! He's good looking!" Yanaj: "It's not your taste I'm objecting to; it's your tact...")

I asked our waiter for some more honey mustard dipping sauce, and when he brought it out, it was definitely not normal honey mustard. I didn't really use it, and when he came back he said, "Oh by the way, that other honey mustard I brought out is fat-free."

I paused, mid-bite with a mouth full of greasy chicken crispers, looked directly at him and said, "What are you trying to say?"

As he tried to stammer his way out of it, I felt kind of bad. He didn't really talk to us the rest of the night. So I left a $6 tip on a $14 check.

Sometimes I like being a jerk.

In other news, I discovered this week that I'm more famous than I realized. Apparently, my mug has been plastered on the Official Elvis Insiders website since August. There's a tremendously flattering shot of me and Johanna from the Official Elvis Week Dance Party 2006. And by "tremendously flattering", I mean "horrifically and utterly disgusting and not at all flattering by any stretch of the imagination."

I don't even remember there being an official photographer at the dance party, let alone allowing him to take my picture. He should've been taking candids of the woman who danced like Elaine from Seinfeld, or the old ladies covered in Elvis tattoos - not me looking like I'm handicapped.

It's so bad that I'm not going to tell you where it is, suffice it to say that I don't even want to think about how many people have seen that picture and thought, "Aw, isn't that sweet? Elvis Week hosted obese special eds!"

Maybe the waiter wasn't totally off-base...

5 comments:

stupidramblings said...

This comment is fat free.

Andi Mae said...

Way to go on the fat-free. Opportunities like that don't arise often, so I applaud you for taking complete and total advantage of the situation!

Erin said...

i think you did the right thing...humble him and make him feel bad for bringing you "healthy" dipping sauce, and then hoist him back up with a big tip...I think you really put him in his place, but in a loving way.

g said...

tough but fair- that's what we call you Bone Jr.

Lec said...

OIY! How dare you, Lady!? We looked Smashing, dangit! No wonder he wanted to take our picture.

You dont remember the photographer? He was the guy with a butt-cut, with a flash-beam mounted to his head. If I remember correctly, he sang some Aretha later in the evening...?

....kidding