Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned for Sega

Bone Junior, to roommates: So, McBicep's back in town! He was back for three days before he called me. I know three days sounds like a long time for him to wait to see me, but in his defense, he was really busy. He was moving, unpacking, and helping his buddies move. Oh, and he went to the football game, hand washed both his cars, went pool hopping, and played double dutch with the people in his new complex. Yes, as in jumping rope. All before he had "a chance" to call me. And when I called him out on this, his response was, "Well it's kind of hard to talk on the phone while you're jumping rope." So I told him it was "kind of hard" for me to keep dating him when he's so gay.

Roommates: So, what rumor do you want us to spread? Homosexuality? Transexuality? Death?

Pause.

Bone Junior: I'm going with the clap.


And the moral of the story is this: True friends are the ones who will stick by you when you dress up in a Teletubby costume and cover someone's camaro in "You're a Douche" cards.

8 comments:

hizznizzle said...

I have to say my piece.

You are my wife's friend first, but still my friend.

This guy is an ass clown. If he didn't call you when he was gone that had better have been one stressful trip related to business. Family trip is no excuse to not call if you really like someone.

Then to not call when he got in town because he "had to wash his cars by hand" is almost as gay as him skipping rope with his girl-boy friends. The only way the car thing works is if one of cars was a Ferrari FXX and the other is a 1963 Corvette convertible that is baby blue with the pearl white insets. But since he owns a dodge pickup and a what was it, oh yeah a camero that doesn't really work now does it.

Kick his ass to the curb and find a guy that will appreciate you.

And my offer still stands. I will get 47 buddies and take him and his recockulously large biceps out.

Think about it.

the queen said...

I am really, really, REALLY good at revenge. (just any of my exes). When I burn bridges, I burn them FOREVER, cause really, isn't that what the phrase is all about? BURN BABY BURN! Need any suggestions?
ps. boys are stupid jerks

Tarable said...

I like your style, Bone Junior.

Erin said...

please tell me you didn't really do this. but if you did, you have bigger balls than I could ever imagine.

The Rules said...

I told you that there were folks just waiting to give the guy a shot in the pills.

Andi Mae said...

You are my new hero. And I don't even need to ask if you really did...because I know the cards exist, and I know you have the guts.

Bravo, Bone Junior. Bravo.

Oh, and also, I ditto everything Hizzy said. Especially the kicking his butt to the curb. NO ONE is too busy to call someone they like. You can even find time to call someone you like in jail. Puh-lease.

Jackie said...

What a moron! If anyone's ever deserved to have their camero keyed, it's him. I can also contribute some of my man-friends to the attack squad if necessary.

Thank goodness for teletubby costumes and sledge hammers!

hizznizzle said...

Now Jackie,

While I do appreciate your enthusiasm and your offered contribution to the attack squad. We must always remember the immortal words of one Vincent Vega from the movie Pulp Fiction.

"You just don't f*&% with another mans automobile."