I own a pair of Spanx.
That's right. I'm crossing the point of no return by admitting that I don't just own Spanx; I wear them.
I used to tell Yanaj that wearing Spanx made me feel like a baluga whale stuffed into a pantyhose.
Now?
You know the part in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation when they cut the rope that's been holding the Christmas tree together, and the branches explode forth with such force that they break through the windows and knock everything over?
That's how I feel when I take my Spanx off at the end of the day.
I'm just saying.