First, I got my toes did, courtesy of my dear friends Heather and Emily. My favorite part of the pedicure experience was the massage chair that massaged me right up the butt crack. That lasted about two seconds before I turned it off. Can you tell which foot is mine? Hint: It's the one with the E.T. finger-like second toe.

Me: I want something cute, but that looks like I could've done it myself if I had any skillz.
Lez: Ok.
Me: Also, I don't want it to look like I'm going to a wedding.
Lez: Ok.
Me: Also, I brought baby's breath to pin in my hair.
Lez: Blink blink.
Me: I'm just kidding. If I ever come to you and say, 'I have an occasion that definitely calls for baby's breath in my hair', please stop me.
Lez: Ok.
Lez will probably kill me for making her sound like a monosyllabic non-conversationalist, when really she has mad hair skillz. And no offense to anyone who has worn baby's breath in their hair.

Me, Henefir, Nicole, and Yanaj - who came into town last minute and gave me the best birthday surprise ever.
Yanaj moved back to Seattle just a few days before my surgery last summer,
so she had yet to see the new and improved me in person. The first time she saw me, she burst out with, "Your BOOBS are HUGE!". Thank you, Yanaj, that was exactly the reaction I was going for.

On the left = Not Hispanic. On the right = Totally Hispanic.
Take notes. Learn to tell the difference.
Take notes. Learn to tell the difference.
That's all I'm saying.